Oh Perkins, Thou Art a Heartless Bitch

Mandy: Never again Perkins late night. I’ve been wanting to throw up all day

Taylor: Me too I feel so bad

Mandy: It was either the omelette, sausage, bacon, hashbrowns, chocolate milkshake, or chocolate chip cookie thats making me want to vom

Taylor: Or the pancakes.

Mandy: Oh god I forgot about the pancakes.

No one likes Newby's.

Mandy: So if I asked if you would want to go to Newby's with me you would say...
Taylor: "Why do people go to Newby's" is what I would say. I'm blowing Newby's up.
Mandy: It's actually fun. I was a hater just like you.
Taylor: Well now no one can go anymore because I'm blowing it up today.
Mandy: Awww c'mon now
Taylor: Poof. Smitherines.
Mandy: Stop :(

Gotta Catch 'Em All

Taylor: Ratatat - great band. Ratatta - not a great Pokemon.
Mandy: Nickelback - not a great band. Nidoqueen - great Pokemon.
Taylor: Pikachu - great nickname for my vagina. Pikachu - great Pokemon.
Mandy: F - fuck you. U - you need to shut up.
Taylor: Not nearly as cool as the last three comparisons.

Tru Luv

Mandy sent me this photo and the following conversation ensued.

Mandy: [photo]
Taylor: Wow.
Mandy: Love me?
Taylor: So much.

Majestic

...And Then I Stole Kevin's Car

Mandy: Hi
Taylor: Where are you?
Mandy: Where are you?
Taylor: Bryan's futon.. I think I puked last night
Mandy: Ew. Gross. I'm at Preston's. I just woke up to pee and now I can't go back to sleep.
Taylor: How did I get here?
Mandy: How did I get here?
Taylor: Right.

Make It Rain

Mandy: You’re a doofus.

Taylor: A STRIPPER JUST GRINDED HER TWAT INTO AMIE’S FACE

Mandy: Like on the street?????????

Taylor: In a strip club.

Mandy: Oh. Well you gotta be prepared for that at a strip club.

Two Real Ass Bitches in a Fake Ass World

We're Mandy and Taylor. We're platonic soulmates. We started a blog to share our ridiculous conversations with the world. We don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but you're welcome.